Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
Faith Camp this year was incredibly blessed. I can't say that I'm all that surprised that it was, considering that I truly believe that it is one of the great works of the kingdom of God, but God still blessed me in a special and unique way this year. For the week of July 16-20, I served as a CIT (coordinator in training). Me and six other truly wonderful individuals had been working for nearly six months on ironing out all of the little details that go into one extraordinary week of service, fun, and closeness to our most high God.
I was so blessed to see so many hearts be opened up to God in such a powerful way. God blessed me throughout the week by revealing Himself to me in little ways, little reminders of His awesomeness. At adoration on wednesday night I realized that the kingdom of God was there. It was like at WYD, and my heart was torn open by the beauty of all of these junior high kids adoring our Father, knowing Him. His love never ceases to amaze and humble me.
After Faith Camp, I came home and wrote something like this, I would like to share it.
July 20th 2012
I can't express the profundity of what I experienced and learned at Faith Camp because I haven't fully digested it yet. Working every second, every day, on the front line with living saints, to build the kingdom of God for real people, is an incredible blessing. How dare I push my own agenda, my own plans, when God's plan and love for me are so spectacular?
We'd get excited to do a favor for some famous person who's never done anything for us. So many fans would leap at the opportunity to buy coffee for some movie star, singer, artist, writer; yet we don't, I don't, jump at every opportunity to serve God who authored the universe, who loved me into being. God is so good!!! So much better than the idols of this world.
To love and serve, and suffer, and fail, and cry, and get back up, and to do it all over again for the glory of the most high God is a privilege. It is my PRIVILEGE to know God, to be able to live in His love, to be able to share that love, to be able to give my life for Him. Not everyone has that incredible blessing. Not everyone knows God, not everyone knows His love. And I complain when I get to serve Him every day. I am so blessed! Yet I complain, and whine, and hide behind the opinions of others who don't follow the one guy who can get our butts to Heaven. To Heaven!
I go to school, to work, to hang outs, and I waste my life- God's life in me- on stupid, insignificant, suffocating sins instead of sanctifying my everyday life. How dare I. And then I fall and feel like God can't pick me right back up because I am so sinful. As if God is limited to my sins- no matter how big.
St. Paul screwed up all the time, but because he let himself get picked back up it didn't stop him from shaping God's kingdom in a way that nobody else could. Who am I to say that God, the unchanging, eternal master, has a different, less perfect love for me? How dare I stop that grace with my petty pride? The only thing that can stand in between God and I is that stuff that I let stand in the way. The person who determines my proximity to God, and His will, is me. What stands in the way is my sin.
Stand up, let God. Let His love love me, love others through me. Accept the challenge that God has blessed me with. Then I can worry about the stupid things that I fret about, if only to find that they aren't worth worrying about in the first place.