Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
I know it's been a very long time since I updated my blog. A lot has happened since then, of course, but I'm not writing to catch up. Sorry.
I just felt compelled to share a beautiful moment I had with Christ this afternoon. I was sitting in mass, before the consecration, and thought of how great it'd bee to see Jesus come into the Eucharist. I realize that perhaps my weak faith desired this visible sign- Thomas all over again- but I asked for it nonetheless. I figured that if it was God's will, I would see.
And I did. But not in the way that I had thought it. While Father elevated the host and spoke the words of consecration, it looked just like it always does. And I realized, or I guess God graced me to see, that His substance residing in the host, his total being entering into this one little circle of unleavened bread, was the greatest kind of vision that He could offer.
I thought of "Peralandra" the book by C.S Lewis, in the closing chapter. Ransom, the main character, sees as many circles come in and out of focus, all contained within each other but each one containing them all. Of course Lewis' words are much more eloquent than mine, but the image stuck with me. God almighty fulfills His promise time and time and time and time again. "This is my body" the words Jesus spoke, come alive each time that we celebrate the sacrifice of the Eucharist. All of God's splendor comes to dwell within the Eucharist. All of Jesus' self takes place of the substance of bread- transubstantiation. He enters with all of Himself into matter that is so fragile, that dissolves on my tongue and gets digested by my body. All of Him, all of His love, which is what holds all of us, comes into me. How humbling. How marvelous.
And I thought to myself, "this is worth blogging about". Of course, it is worth infinitely more than that, worth leaving everyone and everything and following God to the nastiest slums at the end of the earth; worth being skinned alive for, or crucified upside down; it's worth getting your arms and legs broken over, or your fingers gnawed off; and it's worth it because God showed us our value to Him by suffering more, by giving more, by loving more than we can. More than I can. More than any of us can. God loves. And He comes each and every time that the Priest offers that sacrifice on the altar and offers forgiveness for our sins and the salvation of all of the earth. Every time. It's a promise that He will continue to offer, and a promise that requires our accepting it.
I am not sure about what comes next, but I am sure that it's been worth my time to share it. I promise it's worth our time to share Him.
Peace and love in Christ,