Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
I told you awhile back about my Mom's pregnancy. Two weeks ago, when she was six weeks along, she was able to get an ultrasound! We were all so nervous, we had never heard a heart beat before. This time, we did! Mom went in and got a test at the doctor's, all of the levels were perfect. We all thought that this time, after six miscarriages, the baby would make it. We would finally have a baby on the 9th of December 2011!
Today she went in for another ultrasound. We all expected it to be great, why wouldn't we, God is our father. We trusted that he would give us the baby this time, this time we would watch it grow. Mom walked back and opened the door, she immediately burst into tears and announced that the baby had died. My first response was, "What?" I couldn't believe it. I could not accept that this baby had died along with the others, that now there were eight of my siblings in heaven.
Our whole family was devastated. We sat on the couch and cried. Kevin said that we should pray, so we did. During it all I kept on thinking, "Why did this happen? Lord God, why can't we know? Can't you tell us why you have let this happen again?" Through it all I kept on remembering that God's ways are above our ways. As Kevin prayed "Lord, you even let your own son die." I realized how true it was. We cannot understand while we are on Earth. We may never know why God let all of our babies die so early on, we may never know on Earth at least.
As I sat I also thought about how when we reach heaven, the wait will be over. We will see all eight of them, waiting for us, and assuring us that they had prayed for us the whole time. When we get to heaven, it will be made clear, we will know why God decided to let all of the Granger babies go to him before they came to us. His ways are so above our own! I cannot fathom a reason for the suffering that we have endured, time and time again. But God can, he knows why he lets certain sufferings fall upon certain people. Even though we do not know, even though we suffer from that lack of understanding, it is good to know that He knows. It is a consolation to know that God has it all in his hands.
While we prayed the song "Beloved" came to mind. I will share it with you, it is a beautiful song that has blessed me before. In the line "It's a mystery" I find so much consolation. Here it is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CUGTIWCFyo For some reason I cannot attach it to my post :P but you can copy and paste the link if you want. That's the only video to the song that I found... I hope that it can bless you all as well.
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
Friday, April 29, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Life Kites
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
I have a mental bucket list, it's not that I think about it at all, but when something comes up that I want to do I realize it has been on that imaginary list the whole time. For example, to successfully fly a kite is on that list. I built a kite once, in fourth grade with my whole class, it was a miserable failure. If you are flying handmade, still wet kites in the windless desert around twenty other kids you cannot expect much. Anyhow, to fly a kite successfully has always been on my imaginary bucket list. So when we got kites in our baskets for Easter I was pumped up with the excitement and hope of a successful kite flying adventure.
We went to the park today and built our kites. Anika's and I's were one type, Soren's another. As soon as I built my kite the wind picked it up and pulled it away, letting it soar in the air. I was delighted, I held tight onto the string and let more and more slack out as I watched my swirly lolipop sun kite fly in the air. Anika's worked great too, and we were happy about it. Poor Soren, his would take off and then nose dive into the ground. The whole time we tried to get his off of the ground and failed, while mine and Anika's flew perfectly in the air.
As I held onto my kite and admired it flying through the sky on a perfect day, I felt God's presence, and a slightly cheesy analogy coming upon me. I'll start with the God part, the fact that I was flying a kite and fulfilling one of my little, unimportant dreams was so happy for me. It's like God saying, I want to see you delight in all that I give you, and now I am giving you a kite and a pretty day in the park. The slightly cheesy analogy is this, our spiritual lives are, in some ways, like kites. Sometimes it takes little effort on your part to get it off of the ground, God just comes and sweeps you up and lets you have this fantastic adventure while all that you have to do is hold on. Other times, there is hardly wind at all, you can't feel God, and so you don't even bother trying to fly your kite. Other times our spiritual lives are ill founded, like Soren's kite, and because it is not strong enough you just seem to pick up and drop like lead. When all we have to do is launch off and hold on, God does the rest. We need to go to him daily in prayer, and we need to persevere in our relationship with him, when you do it is as easy and beautiful as flying a kite.
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
I have a mental bucket list, it's not that I think about it at all, but when something comes up that I want to do I realize it has been on that imaginary list the whole time. For example, to successfully fly a kite is on that list. I built a kite once, in fourth grade with my whole class, it was a miserable failure. If you are flying handmade, still wet kites in the windless desert around twenty other kids you cannot expect much. Anyhow, to fly a kite successfully has always been on my imaginary bucket list. So when we got kites in our baskets for Easter I was pumped up with the excitement and hope of a successful kite flying adventure.
We went to the park today and built our kites. Anika's and I's were one type, Soren's another. As soon as I built my kite the wind picked it up and pulled it away, letting it soar in the air. I was delighted, I held tight onto the string and let more and more slack out as I watched my swirly lolipop sun kite fly in the air. Anika's worked great too, and we were happy about it. Poor Soren, his would take off and then nose dive into the ground. The whole time we tried to get his off of the ground and failed, while mine and Anika's flew perfectly in the air.
As I held onto my kite and admired it flying through the sky on a perfect day, I felt God's presence, and a slightly cheesy analogy coming upon me. I'll start with the God part, the fact that I was flying a kite and fulfilling one of my little, unimportant dreams was so happy for me. It's like God saying, I want to see you delight in all that I give you, and now I am giving you a kite and a pretty day in the park. The slightly cheesy analogy is this, our spiritual lives are, in some ways, like kites. Sometimes it takes little effort on your part to get it off of the ground, God just comes and sweeps you up and lets you have this fantastic adventure while all that you have to do is hold on. Other times, there is hardly wind at all, you can't feel God, and so you don't even bother trying to fly your kite. Other times our spiritual lives are ill founded, like Soren's kite, and because it is not strong enough you just seem to pick up and drop like lead. When all we have to do is launch off and hold on, God does the rest. We need to go to him daily in prayer, and we need to persevere in our relationship with him, when you do it is as easy and beautiful as flying a kite.
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Happy Easter!!!
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Yay, I can say it again :) He is risen from the dead! God, who died three days ago, conquered death and rose! How beautiful! How absolutely amazing and wonderful is our God, that even the chains of death could not hold him. He rose again and brought us hope, he wiped our tears and put an end to our mourning!
My brother, after watching the Passion, said, "How sad would it be if after all of that he didn't rise?" There wouldn't be any joy after the suffering. God came back!
At mass today it was packed, standing room only. It makes you want to get to learn punctuality :) Standing and watching all of the people squeezed into the pews, and singing joyful songs to the Lord, is enough to make you want to sing, dance and shout to the top of your lungs, "He is risen!" Thankfully I didn't, considering I would have been dragged out of church and probably looked at funnily. But how awesome huh? How awesome is our God!
When I woke up in the morning I had this fluttery feeling in my stomach. I walked into the living room and saw a sheet over the Easter baskets, and my mom preparing a feast. We acted out the resurrection story, which is funny considering we are all a little "old for that" :) and then we opened baskets. Easter is one of the few days where you can eat so much candy that you feel sick, take a break, and there is more candy that you feel you have to eat, cuz hey it's Easter! We went to mass, came home, ate a HUGE Easter lunch/feast and the day is not even over! Colorful eggs, baskets, candy, mass, pretty dresses, and most of all the celebration of one of the most fantastic events in history! I love Christmas, and it is such a beautiful, fantastic, holy, blessed holiday, which I love; but everyone is born. Easter, on the other hand, is a celebration of resurrection, which not everybody does :)
So, I want to say a few things. I love Easter! God is sooooo good! Alleluia! and, HAPPY EASTER!!!!!
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Yay, I can say it again :) He is risen from the dead! God, who died three days ago, conquered death and rose! How beautiful! How absolutely amazing and wonderful is our God, that even the chains of death could not hold him. He rose again and brought us hope, he wiped our tears and put an end to our mourning!
My brother, after watching the Passion, said, "How sad would it be if after all of that he didn't rise?" There wouldn't be any joy after the suffering. God came back!
At mass today it was packed, standing room only. It makes you want to get to learn punctuality :) Standing and watching all of the people squeezed into the pews, and singing joyful songs to the Lord, is enough to make you want to sing, dance and shout to the top of your lungs, "He is risen!" Thankfully I didn't, considering I would have been dragged out of church and probably looked at funnily. But how awesome huh? How awesome is our God!
When I woke up in the morning I had this fluttery feeling in my stomach. I walked into the living room and saw a sheet over the Easter baskets, and my mom preparing a feast. We acted out the resurrection story, which is funny considering we are all a little "old for that" :) and then we opened baskets. Easter is one of the few days where you can eat so much candy that you feel sick, take a break, and there is more candy that you feel you have to eat, cuz hey it's Easter! We went to mass, came home, ate a HUGE Easter lunch/feast and the day is not even over! Colorful eggs, baskets, candy, mass, pretty dresses, and most of all the celebration of one of the most fantastic events in history! I love Christmas, and it is such a beautiful, fantastic, holy, blessed holiday, which I love; but everyone is born. Easter, on the other hand, is a celebration of resurrection, which not everybody does :)
So, I want to say a few things. I love Easter! God is sooooo good! Alleluia! and, HAPPY EASTER!!!!!
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Good Friday
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
Yesterday, on good Friday, God really blessed me so much. I think I have shared before how profound Jesus' death on the cross is and how much it means to me. To have a day set aside for meditation on such a profound and world changing event is so meaningful. God, came to Earth, shared, taught us to love, and then died in the most gruesome, painful, bloody expression of love and passion that man has ever seen. He took our sins, suffered for them in our place and then his people, we his children, hung him on a tree.
We watched the Passion yesterday. That movie always strikes me so much, if you have not seen it then you should. Passion, strong and barely controllable emotion, that is the definition I found in the dictionary. I wondered why they decided to name it such "The Passion" and then it hit me, that is what it was. It was his strong, uncontrollable love for us that brought him to the tree, that brought him through the whips and spitting and nails. His passion for us. As hard as we look we will never find someone who loves us so much, someone who is so passionate about us that he or she will do what Christ did in the way he did.
One thing that I love about the movie is the impact. Let me explain, when you meditate on a crucifix you are used to seeing Jesus with a few cuts and a little bit of blood, sometimes. When you watch the passion I feel like you get a grasp of how real it all was. He sweat blood, was mocked, was torn and cut, had thorns driven into his head, walked carrying a heavy cross that nearly crushed him three times, and then was nailed to a tree and left to dehydrate and die. That is real. His love is real. His passion is real. God's fervent passion for us is the most real it can get and yet we hardly think about it. I feel that if we each truly meditated on his passion each day our lives would be better, our families would be better, and our world would be better.
God loves you. He loves you so much that he suffered unimaginable pain and humiliation and he did it willingly, to save you. I know it is almost Easter, a season with a feel and message very different from that of lent and good Friday, but we always need to keep that reminder in our hearts and souls. That reminder of his unending love and passion.
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
Yesterday, on good Friday, God really blessed me so much. I think I have shared before how profound Jesus' death on the cross is and how much it means to me. To have a day set aside for meditation on such a profound and world changing event is so meaningful. God, came to Earth, shared, taught us to love, and then died in the most gruesome, painful, bloody expression of love and passion that man has ever seen. He took our sins, suffered for them in our place and then his people, we his children, hung him on a tree.
We watched the Passion yesterday. That movie always strikes me so much, if you have not seen it then you should. Passion, strong and barely controllable emotion, that is the definition I found in the dictionary. I wondered why they decided to name it such "The Passion" and then it hit me, that is what it was. It was his strong, uncontrollable love for us that brought him to the tree, that brought him through the whips and spitting and nails. His passion for us. As hard as we look we will never find someone who loves us so much, someone who is so passionate about us that he or she will do what Christ did in the way he did.
One thing that I love about the movie is the impact. Let me explain, when you meditate on a crucifix you are used to seeing Jesus with a few cuts and a little bit of blood, sometimes. When you watch the passion I feel like you get a grasp of how real it all was. He sweat blood, was mocked, was torn and cut, had thorns driven into his head, walked carrying a heavy cross that nearly crushed him three times, and then was nailed to a tree and left to dehydrate and die. That is real. His love is real. His passion is real. God's fervent passion for us is the most real it can get and yet we hardly think about it. I feel that if we each truly meditated on his passion each day our lives would be better, our families would be better, and our world would be better.
God loves you. He loves you so much that he suffered unimaginable pain and humiliation and he did it willingly, to save you. I know it is almost Easter, a season with a feel and message very different from that of lent and good Friday, but we always need to keep that reminder in our hearts and souls. That reminder of his unending love and passion.
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
So Much!
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
As the title implies, I have been up to a lot lately! My mom is pregnant :), we are all soooo excited! So, because of that, she had a doctor's appointment on Monday. It went well, and since it was in Laffayette we took our vacation to Big Woods. I was so blessed to be back a again. I have visited this year quite a few times, but never for an extended period of time, so to be there for three nights was a blessing. I feel like my home is in missions, but in the United States it is at Big Woods. I saw my family, and visited with my friends, it was spectacular.
Another reason we visited was to go to my newest cousin's baptism! His name is Anthony Joseph and he is absolutely adorable! God blesses me so much around babies and I was so blessed to meet him and go to his baptism. All of the family came and I was surrounded by little ones, which brings me sheer joy. My cousins are all so stinking cute and I wonder how come we got blessed with such good genes.
While we were there it was beautiful out, and blackberries had just grown. My sister and I went out with the two little missionaries who live on premiss, and blackberry picked! I remember how much I loved it and it was great to see that same joy in the faces of Anthony and Maria.
I was also able to baby sit my little cousins! The super fun kind of babysitting, where you play for an hour, then they go down for a nap without a peep and you get to hold the baby :) That was great!
I really, as you can probably tell, was so blessed by that trip. It is great to be able to spend time outside, see your family and friends, and then have prayer time in front of the blessed sacrament every night. God blessed me so much! He is so good to me :)
There is more to write so I will post later on!
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
As the title implies, I have been up to a lot lately! My mom is pregnant :), we are all soooo excited! So, because of that, she had a doctor's appointment on Monday. It went well, and since it was in Laffayette we took our vacation to Big Woods. I was so blessed to be back a again. I have visited this year quite a few times, but never for an extended period of time, so to be there for three nights was a blessing. I feel like my home is in missions, but in the United States it is at Big Woods. I saw my family, and visited with my friends, it was spectacular.
Another reason we visited was to go to my newest cousin's baptism! His name is Anthony Joseph and he is absolutely adorable! God blesses me so much around babies and I was so blessed to meet him and go to his baptism. All of the family came and I was surrounded by little ones, which brings me sheer joy. My cousins are all so stinking cute and I wonder how come we got blessed with such good genes.
While we were there it was beautiful out, and blackberries had just grown. My sister and I went out with the two little missionaries who live on premiss, and blackberry picked! I remember how much I loved it and it was great to see that same joy in the faces of Anthony and Maria.
I was also able to baby sit my little cousins! The super fun kind of babysitting, where you play for an hour, then they go down for a nap without a peep and you get to hold the baby :) That was great!
I really, as you can probably tell, was so blessed by that trip. It is great to be able to spend time outside, see your family and friends, and then have prayer time in front of the blessed sacrament every night. God blessed me so much! He is so good to me :)
There is more to write so I will post later on!
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Being a Catholic Missionary Rocks
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
So, if you didn't already know, the title of my post will tell you that being a Catholic missionary rocks. If you don't believe me, go find one, and then you'll know. So anyway, what inspired said title? I will tell you. It is sort of a couple of things so I will tell you each.
This one is great :) My brother and sister just got pet hamsters. They are cute and furry, like every good hamster should be, and they bring our house an added level of excitement. This morning, Anika was holding one and petting it. Then she said,
"We need to tell them about Jesus."
She left the room, got a crucifix, came back and began to speak to the hamsters.
"This is Jesus." She told them. "He loves you very much, he loves us more but he still loves you."
The hamsters sniffed Jesus' head and continued as normal. This cracked me up, and made me swell with pride, at the same time. It made me remember the years long gone when Anika would baptize her stuffed animals in the pila. She was five, and it was so cute. Anyhow, seeing her evangelize our hamsters made me realize how blessed we were. So blessed to realize the need for everyone to know about Jesus, since there weren't people there Anika took advantage of the hamsters' presence and got to it.
This one is more about how great it is to be Catholic :) Today we went to confession. We lined up against the wall and people flooded in. While we waited there was the rosary being prayed. I felt so blessed at that point, and I realized that other religions don't get this experience. To go to confession, be forgiven in the profound way that you are after confession, and pray the rosary. It was great! Also, while we were there Anika offered to save the spot for a pregnant lady and it made me realize once more the beauty of our missionary upbringing to reach out to all those around you.
God really has been blessing me in my everyday life. I know that right now we are not called to be in the foreign mission field but we are still called to be missionaries. Everyday opportunities arise to take advantage of your past and religion. I know that not all of us are called to be foreign missionaries, and not all have had the blessing to be Catholic for whatever reason, and these people are still blessed and can have great lives. I just have really been feeling so blessed by what I have :) God bless!
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
So, if you didn't already know, the title of my post will tell you that being a Catholic missionary rocks. If you don't believe me, go find one, and then you'll know. So anyway, what inspired said title? I will tell you. It is sort of a couple of things so I will tell you each.
This one is great :) My brother and sister just got pet hamsters. They are cute and furry, like every good hamster should be, and they bring our house an added level of excitement. This morning, Anika was holding one and petting it. Then she said,
"We need to tell them about Jesus."
She left the room, got a crucifix, came back and began to speak to the hamsters.
"This is Jesus." She told them. "He loves you very much, he loves us more but he still loves you."
The hamsters sniffed Jesus' head and continued as normal. This cracked me up, and made me swell with pride, at the same time. It made me remember the years long gone when Anika would baptize her stuffed animals in the pila. She was five, and it was so cute. Anyhow, seeing her evangelize our hamsters made me realize how blessed we were. So blessed to realize the need for everyone to know about Jesus, since there weren't people there Anika took advantage of the hamsters' presence and got to it.
This one is more about how great it is to be Catholic :) Today we went to confession. We lined up against the wall and people flooded in. While we waited there was the rosary being prayed. I felt so blessed at that point, and I realized that other religions don't get this experience. To go to confession, be forgiven in the profound way that you are after confession, and pray the rosary. It was great! Also, while we were there Anika offered to save the spot for a pregnant lady and it made me realize once more the beauty of our missionary upbringing to reach out to all those around you.
God really has been blessing me in my everyday life. I know that right now we are not called to be in the foreign mission field but we are still called to be missionaries. Everyday opportunities arise to take advantage of your past and religion. I know that not all of us are called to be foreign missionaries, and not all have had the blessing to be Catholic for whatever reason, and these people are still blessed and can have great lives. I just have really been feeling so blessed by what I have :) God bless!
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Snippets
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
So, as the title of this post implies, it will consist greatly in snippets of thoughts and not one solid one. So if you could just bear with me :)
I went to a writer's conference yesterday, it was really cool! It is called LItfest and is for writers in High school. There were a bunch of people there, which was great. I felt abnormal amongst them considering that I looked relatively normal, and that many other's had eccentric styles :) . It was a cool cultural experience I could say, which sounds funny since I am in my home country, but considering that I am home schooled I don't spend much time around huge groups of people my age. There was an open mic and kids, well I guess they are all my age so I don't know if it is fair to say kids, got up and read some of their work. I was impressed how many talented people were there. I was also sad to see that some of the stuff was not the kind of work that is appropriate. It made me realize once again the need for clean media in our country. If all that you are exposed to contains material that is not pleasing to God, chances are that it will seep into your life as well. Over all it was a great experience, but just please join me to pray for an increase in good quality, clean media in our world today.
I have also been thinking a lot about my vocation. I believe that I will serve God one day as a full time missionary but I am obviously not doing that right now. So what am I doing? I have felt the stress on the importance of family. Family stretches beyond when you are grown and have children and such, it is when you are young too. And that is a struggle that I find myself fighting with, to truly love my family, especially siblings, well. To love them givingly like I will need to one day when I have children and a spouse, assuming that it is God's will. It is so easy to dismiss your family responsibilities when you are young, and to find them unimportant, but it really is fundamental in your growth as a person and therefore should be looked upon as a mission in itself. I feel like God is helping me learn that.
Last snippet, yesterday, at the conference I heard this interview with a man who said that when you look back the first 25 years are the most fundamental, and the first 18 even more so. Now, I don't believe them to be any more important then the last years of your life, but he did make an impression on me. It made me remember how important it is to reach out to children and teens. If you build your house on the sand then it will crumble, the same thing with your life. It needs to be on a solid foundation and so we need to make a special effort to be there for the youngest in our world. Praise God that he is raising up strong men and women in their faith to lead the youth with groups and sessions, so we need to support them with our prayers.
Well that's all!
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
So, as the title of this post implies, it will consist greatly in snippets of thoughts and not one solid one. So if you could just bear with me :)
I went to a writer's conference yesterday, it was really cool! It is called LItfest and is for writers in High school. There were a bunch of people there, which was great. I felt abnormal amongst them considering that I looked relatively normal, and that many other's had eccentric styles :) . It was a cool cultural experience I could say, which sounds funny since I am in my home country, but considering that I am home schooled I don't spend much time around huge groups of people my age. There was an open mic and kids, well I guess they are all my age so I don't know if it is fair to say kids, got up and read some of their work. I was impressed how many talented people were there. I was also sad to see that some of the stuff was not the kind of work that is appropriate. It made me realize once again the need for clean media in our country. If all that you are exposed to contains material that is not pleasing to God, chances are that it will seep into your life as well. Over all it was a great experience, but just please join me to pray for an increase in good quality, clean media in our world today.
I have also been thinking a lot about my vocation. I believe that I will serve God one day as a full time missionary but I am obviously not doing that right now. So what am I doing? I have felt the stress on the importance of family. Family stretches beyond when you are grown and have children and such, it is when you are young too. And that is a struggle that I find myself fighting with, to truly love my family, especially siblings, well. To love them givingly like I will need to one day when I have children and a spouse, assuming that it is God's will. It is so easy to dismiss your family responsibilities when you are young, and to find them unimportant, but it really is fundamental in your growth as a person and therefore should be looked upon as a mission in itself. I feel like God is helping me learn that.
Last snippet, yesterday, at the conference I heard this interview with a man who said that when you look back the first 25 years are the most fundamental, and the first 18 even more so. Now, I don't believe them to be any more important then the last years of your life, but he did make an impression on me. It made me remember how important it is to reach out to children and teens. If you build your house on the sand then it will crumble, the same thing with your life. It needs to be on a solid foundation and so we need to make a special effort to be there for the youngest in our world. Praise God that he is raising up strong men and women in their faith to lead the youth with groups and sessions, so we need to support them with our prayers.
Well that's all!
Peace and love in Christ,
Alyse
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